CONTROL OVER SOMEBODY’S LIFE

Ananya was just 14 years old when her mother passed away in an accident. She herself ,her brother Tanuj  who was only  12 years of age and her father were the only members left in her family. Nature had surprised her by giving her most unexpected event at a very early age. She has not yet totally understood the meaning, importance and impact of mother in a child’s life and life gave her a new meaning of life. She was very close to her mother, a pampered child, and a princess to her father. Her brother who was a kiddo was also very very upset with the incident. Her whole family got disturbed.

After some days of this incident, her relatives had started talking about her father’s “REMARRIAGE”. She was totally shocked and amazed by this whole new thing called remarriage of her father. She has not yet cope up with death of her mother and this talk about remarriage made her feel like what’s going on in her life. And whenever conversation on this topic starts , she starts arguing with her family members .Her mind and heart both were questioning  unlimited questions to herself and to the people near to her.

One day one of her relative came to her home who is her father’s big brother , he talked with her and Tanuj about the situation and tried to explain what will happen if remarriage of her father happens . But stubborn Ananya was not at all interested in listening a single word about Remarriage , and in response she started questioning to her father’s  relative . Her some questions made her father’s brother   and her family members feel embarrassed , but she was fighting ,fighting and keep on fighting that why? In her own way Ananya asked so much, she asked,

Why there is need of Remarriage?

Can’t her father live alone?

What would have happened if her father died before her mother  , would her mother be allowed to get remarried?

 If remarriage is  really that important then it should be equally important for the widow of elder brother in the family? Then why you all are not agreeing for remarriage of widow of elder brother in the family? Agreeing is far away, you all have not even discussed about this topic once at home since the death of elder brother.

Why there is discrimination in the society to the spouse of  male and  female, when a male dies and when a female dies?  Why Treatment and remedy available for a  male and a  female is different when  the other partner dies?

Why this concept of wearing white colour dress or not wearing all colours is only for women?

Why men are allowed to do whatever they like , why women has not any liberty to choose her life in her own way and according to her own wish?

And after so many discussions with the members of the family and her father, her father silently decided that he will not get remarried. And the time passes by. Ananya , Tanuj and her father all are living happily together . Her father has given love of both i.e. love of both mother and father to Ananya  and Tanuj. He never made Tanuj and her felt that there is something so precious missing in all their lives .

 Time flies and  Now Ananya is a grown up girl, ready for her higher studies , wanted to get a highly qualified degree and to pursue her dreams , she left her brother and father and move on to a new city.Ananya was  experiencing a totally  new feeling in her life . She had attained the age of 18, she is seeing a new world of opportunities, her career, her goals, ambitions , and her desire to get success . And her wish was fulfilled in the way she always wanted for herself.

One day when she was alone , she was thinking about her past days , about her mother , brother and most Important her life’s bestest gift  i.e.her father. She was thinking, thinking and thinking. She had so many wonderful memories with her father like how he used to pack their Tiffin box  when she and Tanuj goes to school , how he participated in every interaction and answers each  of their  questions , no matter sometimes questions were very stupid .How he always stand by their side and encourages them to do whatever they like , make them live life in their own way , made them financially independent ,allowed them  to express and say whatever they feels , made them feel love ,affection and what not. How all three of them has n number of huge sessions of laughter, how they all three fight together with daily routine and life problems.

And suddenly she realized she and her brother has got so much in their lives but what about her father?  During all these years he has only given , given and given  with a big smile and open heart  & that too without complaining. But What about his personal feelings, needs, desires? He neither has shared all these with anyone since last 11 years nor did he let anybody to know what he is feeling in his deepest inside. There will be definitely  an inner feeling of loneliness which is silent in her father’s heart. And then she realized knowingly unknowingly though in innocence of childhood what she has done with her father’s life? She has taken all his personal happiness; she was so selfish in all these years that she forgot that her father’s personal life is equally important? And that was the moment she feels that not allowing her father to get remarried is one of the biggest mistake of her life. It’s not that her father made her realize all these, all these thoughts came to her mind on her own. She is understanding life, importance of partner in one’s life and most important she realized her father’s contribution in their life.

Ananya  was thinking why she had done all these? She tried to figure out the reasons behind this . The prime and foremost reason for the same is that she had already lost her mother and she was scared of losing her father’s love . She wanted safety of herself and her brother Tanuj .She  can’t share her father’s  love with anyone .

But who is responsible for all these? Is Ananya’s innocent heart and mind alone is responsible for these? Is society is not equally responsible for the situation? In India where entering into a relationship or doing love marriage is still a matter of debate & discussion, then was  Ananya  could have accepted remarriage of her father  & that too with an open mind and  heart?

The reason is, In India we are more concern about other person’s  life and what’s going on in other persons ‘s life rather than controlling our own? We have a tendency to interfere in personal decisions of other person which we can extend to any limit. We have a habit to put pressure and to control others life . We enjoy when somebody sacrifices his desires and live according to us. We don’t have courage to accept and face the changes .

Why don’t we understand that we are only a companion and not master of somebody’s life?

There is not only one Ananya  in every family who is knowingly or unknowingly controlling other person’s life,  there are also  so many  silent sacrificers like Ananya’s father who are sacrificing their life just for the sake and happiness of their family and  that too without taking anything in return and without complaining . Ananya has realized this, but time has passed away, she has taken  wonderful moments from her father’s life and there will always be a sense of regret in her heart that she has no right to control or take decision of anybody’s life.

                                                         

                                                        “BASED ON A REAL LIFE INCIDENT”